do i waste?

Okay, I am just going to write, no order, no plan, just because I need to write this somewhere...

I have a strong desire to go overseas for a longer period of time, and I've been reading several books and follow different blogs written by missionaries. I don't ever want to be oblivious or not care about how God is using other people, and what he is doing in other parts of the world. I don't want to shut out the needs and pain on this earth. I want to serve and learn where God has me at this moment, but I don't want to just be caught up in my world.

Through this reading, I have become more aware of the lack of food, clothing, medical care. All that we take for granted. It makes me remember how blessed I am.

It has made me more aware of how much I eat, and the amount of money I spend on food and how much I value clothing, and how much clothing I buy.

I live in a family who values a healthy diet. Honestly, in the last couple of years we (okay, I) have let my sweet tooth contribute quite a bit to my diet. Actually, sugar is my addiction.
I want to take care of my body. I don't want my poor self-indulgent choices limit me and how I can be used in the future. I don't want to live my life constantly thinking about and living for food.
 I prefer and love to buy from second-hand stores, or off of clearance. I don't want to give into buying from big brand-name stores, and pressure to fit in. I don't like spending a lot of money on clothing (but it all adds up). I forget though...

I have clothing. I catch myself valuing my clothing oftentimes, and looking around comparing and wishing for more.

I spend so much money. So much money on things that don't last. I've been thinking about all the money I waste that I could be saving for a trip overseas, or could be giving to others or sponsoring a child with.

All these jumbled up thoughts have made me come to some decisions. I don't have a definite length of time or starting date yet.

1) That I will not buy clothing for myself.

2) I will not buy fast food or junk food for myself.
3) I will set a small weekly balance of free spending money, to go out with friends and such.

I will use discernment as situations come up. If my tennis shoes break, I will buy a new pair. Because I am taking a fitness for life class, I cannot get by without them.  There are more exceptions I have thought of, but I've already written so much.

Some of these views are the way I was raised. Most of my friends don't think about what they eat, nor do they care what they spend on food and clothing. I understand that, and respect that, and there is nothing wrong with it.

All of this post is based of my thoughts and convictions and my conclusion.

I will buy clothing in the future, I just want to make myself realize and use what I have. I will eat dessert and sugar, I don't think it is wrong to enjoy what I eat, I just want to do it in moderation.

I need to write my thoughts in order to organize them and clear them up. I also wanted something written to keep me accountable. Something that I could go back over and reread to remind me. I possible might have wanted to see if I am the only one who thinks some of these things.




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