awareness

I have a couple of topics that I am passionate about.
Mondays at work consist of cleaning the salon and preparing it for the week. A coworker and I were working together when we got onto one of my passionate topics. When I am in a stressful situation, or a situation were I have expectations or want to do my best and be perfect, I am more quiet and very neutral, which would be my work personality. It felt so strange to be talking so much and with strong feeling.

I want to write about one of those topics. Writing helps me so much, I have so many thoughts and opinions swimming around my head, but they become concrete when written. I can look at them and see errors in my thinking, or lapses. I can piece together thoughts and see how I can coherently put them together without just throwing sporadic disjointed bits into conversation.

Awareness.

I want youth, Americans, my friends, people to have awareness.
I am such a hypocrite. I don't regularly read the news. I am unable to keep up with politics. I pick and choose things to be aware about. I know so little. It frusterates me to think about.

I don't know why, but I love to read as much information and stories about disasters, murders, past incidents. I don't read them with a cold heart, I feel for the participents, victims. I am filled with a sadness. I don't understand people, their reasoning. I don't understand how events play out. I don't completely understand why I love to read so much information, but maybe it is because those people have a story, a voice. I want to heard their story. This is the truth, this is history,  it actually happened, and most importantly it is present!

I remember reading a series of books we had when I was little. They were only 10-20 pages long and the print was gigantic. I would read and reread about Pompeii and the Titanic.

I don't expect everyone to want to know all the details and to complete long to know what people went through like I, but I believe everyone should have awareness!

I believe I have already stated this, but it saddened and pained me when no one knew about the Norway Massacre.

How can you not care? Are these not beautiful people created by God?

How can we get so caught up in our lifes, in what is currently right in front of us and not see, not care about what is going on around us, around the world?

Yes, it is sad. It is unpleasant. It is sickening. It is so easy to avoid knowing about these things that don't directly impact our lives. What can we do??
My sister is passionate and longs to help the girsl in sex-trafficking. God has given her a desire to help them. I cannot wait to see what it manifests into.
God can use us. He may send us somewhere, have us initate something, have us give money, have us give time. If none of those, we have PRAYERS!

It may seem silly to dwell on a crisis. The Norway Massacre, the Dark Knight movie massacre. It happened so quickly. Death is finnl. We cannot do anything, you may think. Think about the familys impacted, the grief they had to go through, the long-term suffering they are still dealing with and will continue to deal with. Think about the ones in pain in hospitals. Prayer is powerful.

I know... It is hard. What about all the other deaths that are occurring each second? What about those families?

I know, I am not capable, I am not big enough. I know God is. I know He is control.

I know, I am a hypocrite. I know there is so much going on in other countries. I remember seeing things going on in Egypt on t.v., but otherwise I wouldn't have known. I want to know, but I don't devote the time, I don't find the resources.

I know I am not as passionate about certain things, such as politics, as some people. I know I do not have the same passion as my sister for those in sex-trafficking. I know so little compared to her. I feel for them, I am saddened, but I have not the depth of feeling and grief as her.

Who am I? I know so little. I am so young. Why should I speak about these things? What gives me authority? I know I have so many faults, I am so short-sighted, I don't comprehend.